Its Official: Australians Prefer Porn to Madonna

Do Australians prefer Porn to Madonna? Well, now we can answer the question. The answer is ‘Porn’. Perth’s Psychedelic Porn Crumpets sold twice as many Vinyl albums than Madonna in their debut weeks.

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets ‘And Now For The Whatchamacallit’ album sold 518 copies a week ago. Madonna’s ‘Madame X’ sold 240. In fact, Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Western Stars’ sold 237 on vinyl meaning Psychedelic Porn Crumpets did more sales than Madonna and Springsteen on vinyl in the first week added together.

Of course, we are just having a bit of fun with data because the data each week is very kinda wobbly. You can have a Top 10 album on the vinyl chart this week with 62 sales. 18 gets you into the Top 100. If they ever remake ‘The Big Bang Theory’ Dr Sheldon Cooper could replace his Fun With Flags show with Fun With Figures and simply monitor the music charts each week.

The way charts are compiled these days is beyond broken. Bruce’s ‘Western Stars’ no 1 debut is at 98 on the Streaming Chart, Madonna’s ‘Madame X’ failed to make the Top 100. Vinyl is certainly all perception and total deception while Pop acts like Khalid, Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande are streamed but rarely bought. Somehow a chart made up of “apples and oranges” is still meant to be a guide.

Commercial Radio stopped using the weekly chart as a programming guide years ago which explains why not one commercial radio station in Australia has a playlist that aligns with a Top 40 chart.

Once upon a time a Number One song or album was a trophy. These days its an internal pat on the back.